OODLES!

So, so, so, so, so much has happened since I last blogged. This summer is honestly turning into a whirlwind. Long work days, rehearsal, gigs and the occasional tid-bit of social life is leaving me a bit tired and worn. The up-side is I love everything I am doing, but I am running ragged. I guess one could say this last chunk of time has been a crash course in real life after the honeymoon period in Juneau. It's not that it's bad, it's just that the initial excitement of living in a new, beautiful place and doing all new things is wearing off. I've been lonely. I've missed my friends. I've had a desire for someone to know and appreciate my heart and passions. I want this place to feel like home, but it isn't yet--and nor could it be. I've only been here three months and haven't had time to develop many relationships outside of the band and work. Thankfully, I really like my band mates and co-workers, but I still long for the heartfelt communion of those who know you well and appreciate the small things in you. I realize this is a natural part of all transitions, so I'm not jumping ship or rotting away in despair--just acknowledging the natural absence of these things. All reading this must know: I am a very relational person and thrive off of deep conversation and transparent relationships. Life gets to be a bit drudgy when those aren't around...but I have confidence they will grow with time. It has been a good time of communion with the Lord around these things. He has reminded me that He is the one who can know me most intimately, better than I know myself. When my heart longs to be understood, He has been gracious to remind me to come to Him first. When I am lonely, He has been good to turn me to prayer so that I remember the constant communion available in Him. When I struggle with being single (big surprise, right?) He has reminded me of His sovereignty over my life, my heart and the future. When I struggle with relationships at home or at work, He reminds me to die to myself and serve those around me in love. All these things have a been huge lessons in His character and heart for my life. Every time I feel myself wanting to complain, the Holy Spirit reminds me of Jesus's life and how He felt lonely, misunderstood, used, unappreciated and abandoned far more than I ever could. Oh, to know Him and the power of His Resurrection, and may share in His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death. This is not an easy calling, but it is the road of those who choose to follow. And not that it is shy of joy! In each of these areas He has brought much joy indeed. I am thankful that He has been so quick and clear to convict and show me how I can be more like Him. Goodness knows, I fail daily, but I thankful for the transforming work that is taking place.

I had a conversation with a friend last weekend that has stuck with me. We talked about the call to take scripture seriously and be willing to lead the radical life that it calls for. Those who have known me since my college days know that I once was SUPER crazy towards this direction, but now I approach it with a more balanced and earnest heart. I want to lead the kind of life that is truly transformed by what I read in scripture. I want to live a simple life that is full passion, love and sacrifice. When I was in Ethiopia, the thing that struck me most was how powerfully believers there believed and lived by scripture. If it was in the Bible, they believed it as Truth. We tend to explain things away with our "knowledge" and "cultural ways of thinking." Dang it, it is such a cop out. I don't want to be a fundamentalist Bible-thumper, but I do want to be a person who lives radically after the Truth I believe. I don't know what all that looks like, but it has been a good thing to ponder for a while. How easy it is to settle into complacency and forget that this world is not our home. How easy it is to want to fit in with those around us and to let go of the conviction that grips our heart. I know this complacency because I live there far too often, but I don't want to settle there. This Sunday's sermon was on Calvin and it stuck with me that Calvin only lived to be 55 years old. He only lived 29 years more than I, yet his life completely changed history. Our lives don't have to be that public or propel such historical change, but would they all be that filled with passion that God's glory can be seen boldly in them even if we don't live long on this earth.

The following song has been blasting on my ipod for the past couple weeks and I want to share the lyrics with you...

Lord, He thunders from heaven
and His voice can stop this world
He created the day and night
still He knit together this little girl

Oh, you could sing us a new song,
Oh, you could stand up and say
"Hallelujah! He loved me today!"

He gathers the sea to jars
and He calls the stars by name
clothes the flowers in every field
still He loves me just the same

Oh, you could sing us a new song!
Oh, you could stand up and say,
"Hallelujah! He loved me today!"

The earth trembles and mountains shake
and the wind can blow so strong
All of creation waits for the day
When you call Your children home

Oh, you could sing us a new song!
Oh, you could stand up and say
Hallelujah!! He loved me today!"

On a completely different note, these weeks have been great and busy. We have played SO many gigs and they have all gone really well. People in the community are really looking at us like we are about to take off. I have no idea what will come of this in the future, but it is pretty fun nonetheless. In an effort not to take up more of your precious reading time, I am going to resort to a bullet list to fill you in on all the things I have done in the past month. I love you all, thanks for reading.

*paul came to Juneau about a month ago--had a great, refreshing weekend with him--went on a great hike
*played a lot of gigs
*dad came to Juneau, went on good hikes, ate great food, went on a boat ride to Tracy Arm, went Halibut fishing with my friend Carl
*played a gig at Chapel By the Lake where people actually sat and listened to us (as apposed to being drunk and crashing into us...)
*4th of July was a party! Stayed at a HUGE house on Douglas island with a bunch of friends, watched the fireworks over the Gastineau Chanel, played three gigs over the course of the weekend and led worship Sunday AM, followed by a great boat ride where we plucked crabs and shrimps out of the sea to eat for dinner and jumped into the ocean to cool down (YES, the Alaskan ocean)
*This weekend had another gig (no way!) went to the end of a cheap wine party and dog-sat for a spastic chocolate lab who has more testosterone than any animal I have ever met. Finished up the weekend with a great game of ultimate with some campus crusade folks.